theFOMO co-founder Tim ponders how we might be more conscious about our weekends:
TGIF! We talked about focusing on the present earlier in the week, so I'm curious — what are you intentionally planning for the weekend? Catching up on Oscars-winning films maybe? Going out for a drink or two with friends perhaps?
For me, after graduation, my first two to three years were a continued hangover of partying on weekends. I wasn't ready to sober up to adult life. Then, in my mid twenties, parties just weren't that attractive anymore. And recently, I’m becoming more conscious and intentional about my weekends.
It may be a function of life stages but it's interesting to ponder: what are weekends for? Let's let that sink in a bit.
Our caveman ancestors didn't have notions of weekends. They didn't hunt Monday thru Friday then sit around a fire, drink fermented wheat and imbibe ayahuasca with their fellow tribe Friday and Saturday nights. They were probably avoiding bears and trying to survive. Weekends are a luxury! But how should we choose to spend it? How can we intentionally choose to spend a weekend so we don't look back and say "not again”?
As millennials we all crave for meaningful weekends. We don’t want to have FOMO about this and that, so and so, and such and such.
Some of us are probably doing back-of-the-envelope calculations mentally on how many years we have left before we hit that next critical milestone in our lives.
"3 years until I want to get married which means 156 Fridays left minus a couple spent sick or at work or whatever means 149 left starting today. Ack!"
When we put it in numbers like that, it can certainly make us scream "holy shit” or if you’re a sadist, "carpe diem!"
But do we really need to overthink and map out the rest of our lives down to the weekend? Does life really need that amount of detail?
If we're in our 20s, that means we’ve had at least 1,200 weekends already. There's always going to be good weekends and bad weekends. Let's just be grateful that we're way past the stage of surviving storms and barbarian neighboring tribes.
Spending time with loved ones is one of the greatest feelings in the world. It feels as if we can spend an eternity acting out every little detail – stopping by the ice cream store for some gelato or taking a slow stroll through the park at sunset. We plan for so much, cherish every moment, and desire more time to do everything in this world together. But if weren’t in the picture...would we have the courage to wish the same for our significant other with someone else?
This is the question children's book author Amy Krouse Rosenthal faced when she suddenly found out she had ovarian cancer. “So many plans went poof. No trip with my husband and parents to South Africa. No reason, now, to apply for the Harvard Loeb Fellowship. No dream tour of Asia with my mother. No writers’ residencies at those wonderful schools in India, Vancouver, Jakarta... This is when we entered what I came to think of as Plan “Be,” existing only in the present."
Got that friend or co-worker you talk alot about "life" stuff with?
It might not be because we weren’t focused enough, but rather because we were too anxious. "The primary obstacle to good thinking...is first a foremost, anxiety."
Often, the toughest problems we face draw from a deeper insecurity. If we’re working on a presentation for example, we might get writer’s block because we have a fear of public speaking. Our minds might actually be actively blocking us to guard us against that fear.
That's why mini-distractions like showers can offer the best place to think because it catches our mind off guard. This experience could also be replicated in the workplace by taking short walks or the stairs. Try this out and we may start to perform at a 10x level ourselves by not allowing our minds to interfere with our problem solving.
Here's to conquering our 20s and 30s together. See you back in your inbox next week!